Despite the romantic notion of “love at first sight,” a happy, healthy relationship does not develop overnight. It takes years of love and commitment by both partners to the happiness of one another. Likewise, very few marriages and long-term relationships fall apart all at once. Instead, in most cases, the partners begin growing apart over time as the health of the marriage deteriorates. In some situations, there may be a precipitating event—such as an episode of infidelity—that leads to a divorce, but, according to relationship experts, a struggling marriage is likely to be the result of much less dramatic, but just as serious, interpersonal issues.
Marriage and family therapists have a fairly good grasp of the problems facing unhappy couples. Some of the most common issues that ultimately lead to the breakdown of a marriage include:
When you first dated your spouse, every conversation was exciting. You could hardly wait to learn more about him or her, what things they liked and did not like, and who they were as a person. As time goes on, couples begin to get bored, and each partner may feel like they are losing their unique identity. Experts suggest continuing to ask questions and to explore one another’s feelings and perspectives, no matter how long you have been together.
Staying Too Close
In order for a relationship to remain healthy, therapists strongly urge each partner to have interests and activities outside of the marriage. This can help prevent spouses from feeling suffocated or developing a need to overcompensate with excessive communication. Of course, communicating with your spouse is crucial for your relationship, but constant texts and neediness can put intense pressure on one partner, eventually leading to feelings of emotional claustrophobia.
It has been called the root of all evil, but the reality is that money is an important element of any relationship, regardless of debts, income, or net worth. Studies have indicated that couples who argue about finances in the early stages of a relationship are at a much higher risk for divorce than other couples. Financial disagreements, especially on major decisions, can quickly lead to resentment between spouses.
Prioritizing Other Things
While it is healthy to spend time apart, many couples allow the pressures of life to take precedence over the health of their marriage. A relationship is not sustainable if one or both partners refuse to make time for one another. In the midst of juggling schedules for your children and your individual separate activities, it is important to continue to foster your relationship with each other and to keep your marriage as a top priority.
Help When It Matters Most
If your relationship has reached a breaking point, it may be time to speak with an experienced Kane County divorce lawyer about your available options. Call 630-377-7770 for a free consultation at Bochte, Kuzniar & Navigato, P.C. today.