Making the decision to pursue a divorce is very difficult and should only be done after a great deal of reflection and thought. You married your spouse because you loved him or her and were ready to commit your lives to one another. If you are approaching divorce, obviously, the situation has changed dramatically. Some couples simply grow apart and are able to complete the divorce process with a level of cooperation and civility. In other cases, one spouse simply refuses to communicate or compromise, making things much more challenging for everyone involved. If your spouse is preventing your divorce proceedings from moving along reasonably, there are some things you can do.
Understand the Reasons
A spouse who is being difficult during a divorce is generally motivated by something or a number of things. It is possible that your spouse is frightened of the prospect of moving forward alone and, therefore, is having trouble letting go, especially if the filing for divorce was unexpected. An emotional period of transition is reasonable, but if your spouse’s behavior continues or worsens, it may be time for you to push through and complete the process despite his or her issues.
Write Everything Down
From the moment you decide to file for divorce, you should begin documenting anything and everything that could prove to be useful later in the proceedings. If your spouse sends you a threatening text message, save it. If he or she is taking money from your joint accounts, make a note each time it happens. Every time you have a phone conversation, take a moment to write down the time and date of the call and what you discussed. Information is your best defense against a spouse who refuses to participate in the divorce process.
Maintain Your Composure
During your divorce, your spouse may say very hurtful things or make unfounded accusations against you. No matter how bad it gets, it is very important for you to remain calm and to stay in control of your own emotions—at least publicly. Avoid responding in kind or lashing out on social media, as anything you say could be presented later in the proceedings. You need to focus on the issues related to your divorce, such as your children and dividing marital property. If you refuse to give in to your spouse’s attempts to get you angry, your spouse could realize that he or she is not gaining anything and may be more inclined to begin cooperating.
Contact a Lawyer
It is in your best interest to speak with a qualified divorce attorney before you even begin the process. If you have not already done so, however, it is not too late. Your lawyer can help you find ways to motivate your spouse or to work around his or her objections. Anger and bitterness may prevent your spouse from talking to you, for example, but he or she may be willing to communicate with your attorney.
If your spouse is preventing your divorce proceedings from moving forward, contact an experienced Kane County divorce attorney for assistance. Call 630-377-7770 to schedule your free consultation at Bochte, Kuzniar & Navigato, P.C. today. We will work with you in finding a resolution that meets your needs and fully protects your rights.