Have you ever enjoyed an experience with another person after which you felt closer than ever? Whether it was a charming vacation, witnessing a major historic event, or any other occasion, you may have known right away that your relationship with that person would never be the same. While some people certain do have such experiences, certain events may have the exact opposite effect for others. Ironically, some of the very same experiences that pull some people closer together may plant the seed of division that ultimately drives others apart. Between friends and family members, a relationship may simply cool off, but for a married couple, such life events could ultimately push the spouses toward a divorce.
In Sickness and in Health…
A happy, healthy marriage takes a great deal of work on the part of both spouses. If one spouse develops a serious health condition or chronic illness, however, the relationship can change quickly. An illness or disability could mean that one partner will be expected to shoulder more of the responsibility for maintaining the marriage—a reality that some individuals are just not equipped to handle. Health concerns can also create financial difficulties as well. It is interesting to note that the likelihood of divorce due to a spouse’s health concerns seems to be directly related to which spouse gets sick. Divorce rates tend to go up when it is the wife who falls ill but remain about the same as an average couple when it is the husband.
Having a Child
It is understandable to think that having children together would be one of those experiences that bring a married couple closer together. According to at least one study, however, about two-thirds of married couples reported lower marital satisfaction within three years of their first child being born. The stress and pressure of raising a child—an infant, in particular—can expose communication issues, as well as a couple’s ability—or inability—to reach compromises. Obviously, couples of all types are able to withstand the difficulties of raising children and to rediscover their happiness, but not without a great deal of struggle.
An Empty Nest
On the opposite end of the spectrum from bringing children into the relationship is the prospect of a couple’s children becoming adults and moving out on their own. Many couples invest so much time, energy, and effort into raising their children that often lose sight of their relationship with one another. When the children are grown and start adult lives of their own, the couple may be faced with the reality that they no longer share much common. Relationship experts believe that this may be one of the contributing factors behind the marked increase in divorce among older Americans over the last several decades.
Other Possible Factors
There are other experiences that could make divorce more likely as well, including a traumatic or tragic event, like the death of a child, living apart, and infidelity, but the impact to a relationship caused by any one of these will depend entirely on the couple’s circumstances. None are guaranteed to break up a marriage, just as there is nothing that works every time to bring couples closer together.
If you are considering a divorce due to a particular experience or the combination of many contributing factors, contact an experienced Kane County divorce attorney for guidance. Call Bochte, Kuzniar & Navigato, P.C. at 630-377-7770 today to schedule a free, no-obligation consultation. We will help you understand your options and assist you in making the difficult decisions that are necessary for you to move forward with your life.