As spring begins to take hold in Northern Illinois, signs of new life are everywhere. Trees are green with budding leaves once again, many species of birds have returned, and four-legged creatures of all types have started to reemerge from their winter slumber. In terms of weather, we tend to focus on springtime as a new beginning instead of as the end of the winter season. With the right attitude, the same can true regarding a divorce as well. Your divorce can be more than just the end of your marriage; it can also mark the start of a new, happier life for you and your children.
Make a Conscious Decision to See the Good
In many situations in life, people tend to see what they want to see—or at least what they expect to see. If you go into a new job, for example, expecting the work to be too difficult and the people to be unfriendly, you are likely to focus on the parts of the job you struggle with and the minor flaws of those around you. Conversely, if you went to the job expecting to have a good experience and to make friends quickly, you much more likely to do both.
Your post-divorce life is no different. You have the ability to decide the overall tone for your new reality. It could be one of isolation, loneliness, and regrets, or you could choose to enjoy your new situation and find happiness in little things. If you are a more social person, spend time with those you love and enjoy their company. If you enjoy quiet time alone, go for a hike in the woods or find a new favorite author. Most importantly, do not permit your divorce to ruin the rest of your life.
Learn More About You
During a marriage, it is easy to get caught up in the day-to-day grind and to develop an identity as part of a couple. In the weeks and months that follow your divorce, you have the opportunity to rediscover who you are apart from your ex-spouse. Make a list of some of the things you enjoyed before you got married, and if they were put on the back burner during your marriage, give some of them another shot.
You could also list experiences you have always want to try and make them a priority in your post-divorce life. Try a new sport, travel a little, or maybe even go back to school. Perhaps it would be a good time to join a gym again—or for the first time—and to spend some time focusing on your own needs.
Take Your Time
In the wake of your divorce, you may be tempted to jump back into the dating pool with both feet. You may feel free, attractive, and ready to meet somebody new. Divorce and relationship experts generally agree that a new long-term relationship immediately after divorce is not usually the best idea, but there is nothing stopping you from going on dates and enjoying the company of interesting people. Give yourself some time to heal and to adjust to your current reality, and when the time is right, a new romance will be even that much more exciting.
If you are considering a divorce, an experienced Kane County family law attorney can help you with all of the necessary considerations. Contact Bochte, Kuzniar & Navigato, P.C. for a free consultation today and take the first steps toward the new beginning you deserve.